Celebrating the Holidays as a Military Spouse while your husband/wife is deployed is one of the hardest challenges to walk through in military life. If your significant other is deployed during the Holiday Season, this post will help you embrace the challenge, not just “get through it.”
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DISCLAIMER: ALL INFORMATION ABOUT THE UNITED STATES MILITARY/DOD IS MY OWN OPINION. I AM NOT A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY/DOD.
As a fellow military spouse, I know how dull the holiday season can be without your significant other there to celebrate with you. With the holiday season upon us, these tips will help you adjust to being alone during the holiday and give you ideas to celebrate & enjoy this time, rather than sit in sadness.
A constant challenge we face as military spouses is to embrace the unknown. It is natural to want to plan out & control as much as you can in your life, however, military families know that it is never really a possibility.
One of the biggest kicks to the gut is finding out that your spouse won’t be able to spend the holidays with you & your family due to a deployment.
Many of us think our holidays will be ruined by their absence, but I truly believe that embracing the absence & finding opportunities to grow in the solitude help us grow as individuals & make us better spouses in the long-run.
This post is about embracing the holiday season while your spouse is on deployment!
My favorite tip for surviving any time away from your military spouse is at the end of this guide!
Home for the Holidays
If you struggle with loneliness, you may want to consider returning home to your hometown to spend time with your family during your spouse’s deployment!
Your family can provide you with the comfort of company & will (hopefully) understand what you are going through to a degree.
Find Your Family/Community
If going back to spend the holidays with your family is out of the question due to finances or personal reasons, finding your family within your community is a fantastic way to both provide and receive comfort during the holiday season.
Find other spouses whos husbands have deployed to grab a coffee, plan kiddo play dates, have dinner with & more!
Get Out of Town
If you have the budget & means to do so, getting out of town can be a great holiday experience! Imagine taking a trip to New York City during Christmas, seeing all of the decorations, dressing up in winter clothes, window shopping at the COOLEST stores , eating the best pizza, or even catching a Radio City Rockette Christmas show!
You can choose to do this as a solo trip & enjoy your own company, or bring a friend for a fantastic girls trip!
Fill Your Calendar With Christmas Activities
Always aim for something to look forward to in the short term on your calendar when your spouse is deployed. The days will go faster when you plan holiday-themed activities (by yourself or with others!).
You will enjoy the time, make memories & find peace in your own presence. It will also get you off of the couch in the evenings and bring purpose to your days!
Some Christmas Activity Ideas:
- Make Christmas Cookies & Hot Chocolate
- Watch Christmas Movies while Decorating Your Home
- Read a Christmas-themed Book
- Host a Christmas Party
- Attend a Christmas Parade
- Buy a Christmas Tree
- Write Christmas Cards
Continue & Invent New Holiday Traditions
This tip is essential, especially if you have children! When we think back to the Christmases of our childhoods, we remember traditions like getting the decorations out that we haven’t seen all year, going to the store to make a Christmas wishlist, Christmas Movie Marathons, etc.
It is best to continue those traditions to provide a source of comfort & normalcy for ourselves and our children during the Holidays.
Incorporate new traditions to use when your spouse is away, too! Plan a time to watch a Christmas movie with your spouse. Create a cozy environment as if your spouse were there & hop onto Disney+ to use SharePlay.
Some other fun ideas are:
- Replace “Elf on a Shelf” with “Mommy/Daddy on a Shelf” by using a stuffed photo of your spouse. Tell your kids that mommy/daddy is away helping to protect America & helping to protect Christmas!
- Display a stocking for your spouse & fill it with one item at a time from Thanksgiving until Christmas (e.g. one tootsie roll at a time). Keep the stocking full until your spouse comes home from deployment!
- Write Christmas Cards to troops to thank them for their service & provide Holiday well wishes.
Stay Active & Healthy
As we all know, things always seem wrong when our spouses leave for deployment. Staying healthy & strong will give you & your spouse one less thing to worry about during your time apart.
Remaining active & eating healthily increases your chances of avoiding illness during the holiday season.
A healthy routine while your spouse is away is beneficial for reasons beyond avoiding illness! Going to the gym regularly will provide structure to your days & fill time while you count down the days until your spouse returns.
Put Your Phone Down!!!!
Doom scrolling can really mess with your emotions. Around the holiday season, all you see on TikTok are families celebrating together, which can lead to some crazy comparison games & depressive thoughts (at least in my own experience).
Putting your phone down & getting off social media can help you stay more positive!
Here are some ideas to help you stay away from doom scrolling & comparison:
- Start a new hobby like making Christmas ornaments, using a Cricut Machine, journaling, blogging, etc.
- Replace screen time with reading/read an entire Chrismas series
- Learn how to make chunky knit blankets, sew, paint, or other arts & crafts
Set Goals to Work Towards With Your Spouse
Setting goals to work towards TOGETHER when your spouse is deployed is absolutely ESSENTIAL!
For so many, time apart from their spouse can feel pointless or like they “just have to get through it.”
By setting goals for your life together as spouses, your time apart suddenly has a purpose that has a greater impact on your immediate life.
Some examples of goals to work towards together are:
- Financial Goals – Paying off $X of debt, Saving $X for X (car, home, trip) when your spouse returns, Investing $X for X.
- Health Goals – Reaching %X of Body Fat, Walking X steps, Running/Lifting X times/week.
- Education – Reading personal development books together, completing college courses, or agreeing to learn a new skill in tandum.
- Professional – Obtain professional certifications, aim for a promotion , open a new business, etc.
This post taught you tips and tricks for surviving the holiday season while your spouse is deployed!
Remember that being sad when your spouse is away during the holidays is natural. It is perfectly healthy to feel disappointment and loneliness.
The tips above are tools to help you embrace the challenges of deployment during the holiday season & find joy in the time your spouse is away.
